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Question:
I was wondering how do I make myself confident, one minute I feel like I've got it and I am good enough to make it into the music business, but the next I feel like I shouldn't waste my time. My mom is very up and down, but how do I stop listening to the people around me and use the talent god gave me? Thank you for your time, and I would love to hear from you.
                   

Answer:

Confidence. It's a big word, with a bittersweet aftertaste. How does it really work? Are there really singers who just have this freakishly unrealistic ability to get up on stage and NEVER feel inadequate ? And are the rest of us bound to an eternity of constant wondering, "am I good enough to do this?"

Well I have good news, and bad news. Yes the two extremes exist, but most of us fall right in the middle. It's part of the human condition to fear failure to the point of holding our progress hostage. That's how we were created. The bad news is, even professional vocal coaches second-guess themselves and their abilities. Everybody does to a certain degree. The good news is, that no matter which side of the spectrum you fall on, there are ways to increase the number of times you feel confident, and decrease the number of times you don't.

First, know what to expect out of your voice. Confidence starts with good technique and training, and the ability to use it. Think back to when you drove a car for the first time.... There's so much going on at the same time, so many nobs, handles, wheels, not to mention the impending danger of the other cars coming straight at you. Did you feel confident the first time? Probably not. But something happened the second time didn't it. You knew what to expect. You weren't COMFORTABLE yet, that came later, but you knew what to realistically expect out of the yourself, the car, and the road. (Or parking lot in my case.) Here's the bottom line: Know what to expect out of your own voice. Know what you're dealing with. If you're unsure, that's okay. Just find somebody who can help, and work on this for a while.

Second, if you're already to a place where your voice is consistently cooperating with you, and you're getting what you want out of it more often than not, then this one will be quick. Trust your voice. If you are to a point where you can open your mouth and KNOW what's going to come out, then it's no different from practice, to the stage, to the studio. Seems too simple doesn't it? But it's really a much bigger concept than you think initially. Say it out loud. "Trust my own voice." Trust that your hard work has paid off. Trust that you ARE where you want to be, and that when you open your mouth, the magic will be there.

Thirdly, make sure it's something that YOU want to do, and that you feel LED to do. If you're a sparrow, all the lessons in the world couldn't make you pass for a confident peacock. Seek counsel and advice, just don't allow any other humans to get in the way of what you want or what God wants for you.




Sophie Shear

Click here to view a bio plus other posts


Jan 24, 2009 | 35 Comments

Comments:

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making it into the industry

 To Whom It May Concern,       I would like to know first off if im good enough to make into the industry and secondly how does one go about contacting the right people to make there?  I have beemn singing for 18years and would really like to make a career out of it.  Thank you for taking the time to read this, I look forward to hearing from you   Sincerely, Sherika

I won't ever be good enough

Hi, I live in the UK, but I'm going to move to California in three and a half years. I am in Year Eight at High School, and I know that that means I'm really young, but singing is what I've wanted to do literally all my life. My friend makes fun of me for singing 'Amazing Grace' non-stop in Junior School.
But as I've listened to singers like Taylor Swift and Alicia Keys, I've noticed that my voice is ugly. I can't sing high, I always have to break (go falsetto) and when I do go high, it sounds strained and it's VERY loud!
I don't really have an issue with singing in front of people, I just hate singing to less than 30 people, and people I know. I would be okay on a stage because I wouldn't have someone to focus on. I really want to be a recording artist, and write my own songs. I already do, but out of about twenty-five, five are good.
Does anyone know any ways to make my voice go higher? My sister is trying to train me, but it isn't helping, she keeps telling me I suck and going "ew!" when I try to go too high.
Still dreaming, Fiona

i realy need some help...can some one help me?

i'm in high school right now and when i turn 17 i wanna make it to the big time, but i'm worried if i'm good enouph for all those people who's had tons of practice at his kind of thing! all my friends say i have an amazing vioce and so does my parents, but i don't realy know waht i realy sound like. ushaly i record my self singing with my camera and all i can hear is fuzzy-ness!!! i need some help! what do i do????

i realy need some help...can some one help me?

i'm in high school right now and when i turn 17 i wanna make it to the big time, but i'm worried if i'm good enouph for all those people who's had tons of practice at his kind of thing! all my friends say i have an amazing vioce and so does my parents, but i don't realy know waht i realy sound like. ushaly i record my self singing with my camera and all i can hear is fuzzy-ness!!! i need some help! what do i do????

look first :i am from cyprus

look first :i am from cyprus and i really want to make music business,....i want to be a very good singer but not at my country  i want to be a "hollywood star" the problem is that my mom says no !no!and again all the others says that i have a great voice for that but mom says no!"u can't be a star"u know how can i do her to believe at my talent and me?
 

help??

i need help with my voice b/c every time i start singing and do it laer on im hoarse like now i need some tips to help improve my voice so i dont get hoarse...

my voice is in dire need of help

 Hello,
okay, so i have been singing differant peoples songs for a while now. And i am pretty good. But i need to be great, or at least better than i am right now. the teacher at my school doesn't teach me how to sing how i need her to. She's trying to make my voice sound like other peoples but i want to keep my individuality through the music that i am singing. Anyways, that was kinda off the subject, i need help with tips on how to get my voice to hit those high notes. I can get to some high notes just not all.
Any help would be highly appreiciated.
Thanks,
Caitlin Ryser      
~Caitlin_ryser@hotmail.com                                     

Cant afford the big time

  My singing range i tihnk is pretty amazing. I can go as high as soprano and lower than alto.  My friends say I'm truly amazing at singing but my family can't afford an agent or singing lessons ect.  How can i make it to the big time if i can't get a start? I'll sing for as long as i live and i have been since i was little.  Music is something close to me heart and i don't know how to get people to notice it.  My confidence is up and down but i learned form all of my encouragment from friends that i actually am pretty good at singing. If anyone can help e-mail me a response at emomuffinproductions@yahoo.com for natalie.

Hi, i'm a 16 from M'sia. I

Hi, i'm a 16 from M'sia. I been singing since i was 5 years old. But i don't have to confident to stay on the stage to sing or even in front of my family and i never think to make singing as my career. Because i don't know how my voice is, until i found this program and those thing about Brett. I'm considering about to study acting at US and by the way take some private lesson. But i'm worry whether chinese people can sing well in english song, and by the way, is it possible for a chinese people to stay on the stage at foreign country and sing? And is it any singing contest that may let chinese people to participate at US? Hope you will help me out of this, because i'm still confuse whether if i should study there. And lastly, is it every singer has to know well about piano? Cause i never take any piano lesson and i just learn it by myself, but i could play it too...

confidence & opportunities

Hi, im 16 and from the UK. I've been singing, dancing and writing songs literally all my life and I believe that singing and performing is what I have to do and I don't think I could do anything else. I have a confidence problem though, I can't even sing in front of my friends let alone my family.

When I was twelve the choir leader in my church asked me to join the choir but I refused because I was so afraid. Now I have joined but I feel like I have wasted so much time. I sometimes doubt myself because I have entered various singing contests but I have never done my best in them and because of my non-self-confidence my parents seem to have slightly giving up on me.

In school i'm seen as an actress because im quite good at it , barely no one knows I can sing which hurts me because singing is my number one passion before acting. Its much harder to break into the music industry in the UK because of it's lack of opportunities when it comes to music. I was just wondering what can I do to break out of this shell and just show what I've got??

It's extremely frustrating when people don't know this part of me when I have so much to give. I've ordered the singing success program and I'm hoping it will not only work and improve on my voice but give me the confidence, obviously not an arrogant confidence but a confidence that makes me believe in myself but also giving room for more improvement to expose my God given gift.

Voice

 Hello. My name is Nina and I've been taking singing lessons for 5 years now, but I'm having some problems. I try and sing high notes and belt out the highs and lows, but it just sounds squeaky and is pushed. How do I get a healthy belt and broaden my range belt wise and head voice wise without pushing. Thank You.

how can I increase my singing rang?

I've been singing for a while, but I don't seem to be improving. I can't sing songs on high keys, how can i open up my voice, I'm really desperate.

vocal health

I've just started on the singing success series. I've only completed a couple of lessons. I am the lead singer at my church, and each Sunday night I am hoarse, and then that continues for a few days each week. As my voice slowly recovers, I begin to practice for the following week, repeating the cycle over again.
My biggest problem is when I go higher. Sometimes my voice is fine until I go for a higher note and it either just cuts out or is hoarse. I used to be able to hit these big notes regularly.
If I continue training with singing success will I correct what I'm doing wrong, and will my voice just get stronger again?
I quickly became aware that I have been pushing to get those notes in the past, and the lessons so far have shown me that with a little practice and training I can move from my chest to my head and easily hit the notes I used to "gear up" for. I am looking first to get rid of the hoarsness, and then grow my voice.
Will I be able to accomplish this through the program?
Thanks,
Rick

maybe in the future...

yeah. im a teenager and i've only performed a handful of times. but, lately i've sung the national anthem at some basketball games at my school and it seems like every time i do it, i get less and less nervous. the first few times i performed i woudl get SO shaky that i like almost fainted, but last time i sang the anthem, i barely felt nervous. does that mean that maybe someday i might not be nervous at all? i really hope so, cuz that would be amazing. i know i probably wont ever be completely free of nerves but i haven't really performed that much and it seems like im already getting very confident in myself. i think the only reason im nervous now is because i dont completely trust my own voice. it's amazing how i can hit incredibly difficult notes while i'm alone at home, but when i try them on stage, they come out soft, airy, and shaky sometimes. do you have any special technique or excersize that i can use to make hitting "big" notes while i'm nervous a little easier? I hate it that people can't see my real potential simply because of a few annoying nerves.
thanks for all the great advice, if u have anything else that u think i should know, please let me know because i would love to be able to perform with more ease of mind.

Newbie

Hello, I'm in high school and I've been working with the Singing Success Program for about a year. Ever since I started to hear a difference in my voice I've been wanting to perform in public. I know I owe it to myself, because I've worked so hard and no one else has ever heard me sing. I decided to sign up to perform at my school's coffee house next month.  It will be my first public performance, and my biggest fear isn't so much confidence, it's the fear of being judged by others. I am really getting scared for my performance and don't know how to overcome my fear. I like my voice, but I'm afraid others won't.

confidence

my main problem with the whole singing thing isnt my confidence in my voice or the way i sing. i know what to expect. my problem is the pressure of dealing with how hard the music industry is to succeed in. i always wonder if i'm marketing myself enough or how to even begin to start getting noticed. i cant quite drive yet so i cant just go to an open mic night whenever i want. i just wish i had a step by step booklet to tell me how to safely and correctly succeed in the music business without setting myself up for failure. any suggestions?
thanks

weakness....

my weakness in singing is that everytime i get pressured in my performance, i used to have colds and cough that hinder my better performance....am i just prone to this kind of sickness or am i just really get pressured about my performance? 

SHOWTIME!

Preparation is, without a doubt, the most important ingredient for a successful, confident performance!   Warm-up is critical and how much time that is is different for everybody.  Having some nerves is normal.  I've sung what seems like millions of times and I don't think of that feeling as nervousness (which it is) as much as the juices starting to flow.  I use that feeling to fuel my singing and cover the stage with my dancing.  What amazes me are singers with little singing experience that put on a great show.  That is a truly "Hand of God" sort of thing and happens every so often.  No matter what, you gotta have the courage to get out there ...and try...when you hear, "SHOWTIME!"

Confidence what a special word

Hello,
Confidence is something I have always lacked.  But ater reading all those blogs I have come to the conclusions that If anyone practices enough and gains control over their voice, confidence is sure to follow.
I have only sung in public once and that was in church this pass Christmas. I was weak , flat and sounded awful. eventhough everyone was encourageing, I knew i needed help.  That is why the next day i went on line and found SingSucess.  I'm on lesson 4 and I have improved but I now know there is so much more to singing than i ever knew.  All I can do is practice.
What I want to know is how do you not allow yourself to become discouraged?
 

tips on vocal trainig

hi sir,
     Please can i get tips on vocal training
 

information on voice nature

hello sir,
    Its great joining ur site to benefit on how to improve my vocal strength and techniques.I really wish get some tips on voice nature ,vocal techniques and how to use the voice creatively.I am a Cameroonian and love music so so much,that way it gives me peace and joy in my heart.I am expecting great advices that will come to awaken the ignorant part of m vocal trainings.
                         Thanks  

Stay Positive

The best thing you can ever do is to stay positive once you start doubting your self you start falling apart and that's like a train in motion is hard to stop it. I have a couple of advices...1. trust your self and your voice. 2. Enjoy it and have some fun, that's what it really is. 3. Don't be scared people are there to be entertained, do that and they'll love you for that. 4. Make your self noticeable  grab their attention don't just stand up there, put on the best show you can, and they will keep them coming back for more, trust on that last one. Practice everyday I mean if this is really what you want to do, then make this your #1 priority stay positive. Great advice Lynn J. 
Thank you Brett I have followed your program it's wonderful.     
 
 

Yes you are right, Brett,

Yes you are right, Brett, having practice and good technique, gives you confidence on what you are doing. But even with all of that there are moments when we all have doubt and feared.
When i go on stage i have two things in mind, 1 the worst thing that can happen is to be thrown cans and bottles in case of failing. 2 or they would clap to me.
One just have to have both things in mind as you mention about hte extermes. A good thing id like to share, is hat thinking nothing often helps, thinking if i do it wng, my life doesnt depend on this and even if it does, at least i know i am doing what i want to do,  So if any of us even professionals fail is not time to give up it is to imrpove every song, until u become really impressive in your gender. For me, if i fail or something would be all my fault, for im soloistsinger, rpoducer performancer producer and muscician. so on stage and in studio the responsability is all mine,  I encourage you to practice hard and dont panic of some booings...

it's that mean, i'm going to be a great singer one day.

Halo, My name is Eric and i'm from Vanuatu. I am singer and got told by people that i have an amazing and unique voice when i totally didn't like the type of my voice. I try to give up so many times but this dream keep holding me tired. what that supposed to be mean, when i try to give but something inside of me makes me want to keep going? I don't understand.

 is that second comment on

 is that second comment on the page serious?/ what kind of a person is that??

phew! how was that for

phew! how was that for confident? no i just cant do it. honestly. i am really auful at singing. i so wish i was better. :'(
 

confidence

I also think that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance.  If we are prepared, we should have confidence in ourselves and our voice to do what it can.  But I don't think it's helpful to be overconfident, that we're the best thing since sliced bread, when obviously we're not.  I think the entertainment industry might disagree with me on this, but arrogance is not an attractive quality, especially if the talent/skill is not there to back it up.  We should be aware of this and approach our art with a healthy dose of confidence and keep that in check.  

Being confident

Also, I always try to keep in mind that the vast majority of people are 'rooting for you'... with the exception of a few who might be jealous of your abilities or the opportunity that you have, everyone wants you to succeed.  I have also found that 'what comes around, goes around' is very true... If you are a warm, supportive person with all the guys and gals who are in your same position - singers, dancers, musicians - and genuinely give them real support to help them do well with their dreams... that attitude just grows and grows and grows around you.  Someone I respect very deeply just made a statement about us bringing out 'Our Best Angels'.  Don't wait for someone else to give you confidence.  Create it yourself by being the best that you can be, and by being positive, working to elevate the others around you.  Don't partake in petty criticism of others.  Putting someone else down DOES NOT make you look better.  It makes you look like a petty little sniveler.  If someone, including yourself, makes a mistake, use it as a learning opportunity for the next time.  Telling someone that they blew it is not constructive. They already know they made a mistake - the moment is past, and all the complaining in the world won't change it.  But you can make it GREAT next time.  If everyone in a cast has this kind of attitude, I gaurantee you will put on shows that will blow people away, because everyone feels empowered to let their talent fly!
Be the BEST that you can be, and BREAK A LEG!

BIG DAY TUESDAY!

Hi, A tv company are coming in to hear me sing and watch me dance, this is a huge opportunity for my school and I want to give it my all. I'm just starting lesson three on the singing success programme and it's going great ( your product is amazing) But I was wondering do you have any advice for a somewhat nervous guy about to perform infront of a camera? I would also like to know if you have any special exercises that are made for developing power and confidence for the times when I attempt high notes...if you could get back to me A.S.AP that would me fantastic, because the audition is this tuesday LOL thanks.

Warm up

For how long do i need to warm up before singing? Does it have to be right before I got on stage? how does it work? can I warm up my voice at home? 30 minutes before I sing? Wich exercises are the best? and the fastest!
thank You
 

confidence

Hello, ive been working as a singer for 12 years now and i still have doubts when im on stage, especially when i try a new song. But what always seems to help me is positive visualization before i go on stage, ( and a good vocal warm up! )..I always imagine myself to be happy  /confident and visualise the show going well. Above all, good preperation on what i am going to do while on stage is well established in my mind. Also i think a small case of the jitters is good, but its very important to relax while on stage, as vocally if i don't, i end up forcing my voice to hit cetain notes, when in practice, with no-one around i hit the notes first time.!.So for what its worth, RELAX, PREPARE WELL AND TRY TO VISUALISE WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FROM YOUR PERFORMANCE.  Hope this helps..! Dave/ England.

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